Dan Nitro Clark

Can you tell a woman’s age by looking at her topless? This question was put to test this week when I went in for an interview on the Playboy Morning Radio show on Sirius Radio.  I didn’t know what to expect as I hadn’t listened to the show before, but I was relieved when it started off like any other interview.  We rapped about the Original American Gladiators coming to out on DVD and my new book "Gladiator – A True Story of Roids, Rage and Redemption" when out of the blue, the host Andrea Lowell, (Playmate, Surreal Life) asked me how old I thought she was.

When I hesitated her co-host Kevin Klein suggested she take her top off and perhaps that would assist me in guessing her age.  How her being topless – was supposed to help me guess her age was beyond me.  What were they thinking – that breasts were like trees – and you could count the rings around the nipple and tell its age? 

Well, I figured I didn’t really matter because there was no way she was taking her top off.   But no sooner had the words left Kevin’s mouth when Andrea proceeded to whip off her top.  The next thing I know she’s sitting across from me topless.  And all I could think was:  I’m in so much trouble – my girlfriend has Sirius radio. 

When I still didn’t take a stab at her age, Kevin suggested she go and jump on the mini-trampoline, as a way to help me along.   Before I could say, "That’s not necessary," Andrea was bouncing up and down on the trampoline egging me on to guess her age.   (Btw -This made it really difficult to count the rings)   After a while Andrea tired and sat back down and told me she wasn’t putting her top back on until I guessed her age.  Hmm.  Difficult proposition. What’s a guy to do?  I stammered, stuttered and then sucked in a deep breath and calmly said, "Twenty six."   Her face went blank, then one brow went up in curiosity.  She told me I was right, then asked me how I knew.  I smiled and said, "I counted the rings."   Andrea was quite impressed.  I didn’t have the heart to tell her, I looked her up on IMDB before I came on the show and already knew her age. 

On a more serious, but not less fun note, I want to give a shout out to two of my favorite radio shows — Up All Night with Jason Smith on ESPN Radio.  He’s a witty guy, who I always get a kick out of and am glad to go on with.  We’ll probably next rap when my San Jose State Spartans play the USC Trojans on Sept 5th.  I’ll be talking smack and cheering on my Spartans – even though they probably don’t have a chance. 

The other program Day-Break USA radio with Scott West.  Scott show is always fast-paced and fun filled and full of insight.  Check out both of their shows!

Be well,

Dan "Nitro" Clark

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