In light of what’s happened in sports recently with Manny, A-Rod, David Oritz, Marion Jones and countless others, no truer words have ever been spoken.  But before your enthusiasm for sports gets smothered under the weight of syringes, roids and positive tests, let’s chat a little bit about sports-figure heroes.  I know a little about this subject.  I was a hero to millions of kids and teens.  I played Nitro on the original American Gladiators for seven years.  In our hey day we had tens of millions of viewers each week and in some markets out drew pro football. I understand what A-Rod, Manny Ramirez and others are going through.  As an athlete and entertainer you’re being consumed and swallowed by the beast of American Consumerism.  You’re a hero who the fans project their thrills, dreams and insatiable demands – and you’re willing to do anything to satisfy them – including taking steroids. 

    Back in the 90’s during the American Gladiators live tour I remember walking out onto the floor of Madison Square Garden and 15,000 fans slammed to their feet and chanted my name.  My heart pumped so hard, I could literally feel myself touch each and everyone of the fans.  I wasn’t “young and stupid” and “didn’t know” what I was taking.  I was intoxicated with the adulation and adoration and would’ve done anything to fulfill my obligation to entertain.  I would’ve ripped my heart out of my chest and held it out, still pulsating in my hands, if that’s what the fans demanded.

   But I also remember knowing deep inside I was giving pieces of my body away, paying for my success with a pound of flesh.  But this Faustian bargain isn’t something athletes want to deal with. We don’t want to know.  We’re in the business of denial and self-abuse.  Our body is a commodity, our mode of trade.  We’re used to pain.  We’re taught: “Don’t quit. Don’t give into the pain.”  So when we get the inclination something is wrong, we do not give in, we do not quit.  

    But I know times are different now.  Steroid use, once a dirty little secret confined to locker rooms, sports medicine clinics and gyms, has now erupted into a national controversy and spilled into our daily lives.  Their harmful side effects are no secret either.  But still right now I’m sure there’s still tens of millions kids and teenagers out there contemplating the steroid issue.  Do I need to take them?  Are they safe?  Can I make it if I don’t take steroids? 

    How do we educate and save the future generation of A-Rod and Manny, hopefuls?  The hardest part about this conversation is that everyone who takes steroid, will not become addicted, get horrible side effects or die.  That’s the simple truth.  But many will.  I know I did.

    I was a guy who always thought I could handle taking steroids.  But in truth, the drug handled me, easily and completely.  At my peak, I was six feet two, 260 pounds.  Muscles stretched and defined by red, white, and blue spandex.  I loomed as if I blocked out the sun.  That was everyone else’s perception of me.  But I was never big enough or strong enough for myself.  I reached a point where contentment and fulfillment were impossible.  I learned that steroids were a hopeless reach for happiness and could never fill what I was missing inside.

    And maybe that’s what I’m getting at here.  It’s not A-Rods, Bonds, Manny’s or Ortiz’s fault.  It’s not my fault.  It’s not your fault.  It’s our fault.  Everyone is culpable.  No one can look the other way.  We’ve become a nation obsessed with a winner take all mentality, where every effort is marked down at the end as a win or a loss, where second place means nothing.   What is it about the very fabric of us as a nation that’s led us here?  Why are we so intoxicated with winning?  I guess the real question is: What are we missing inside?

    I knew when I won, I was somebody.  When I didn’t, I was invisible.

    So how do we fix something that is broken at the very core or our existence?

    I can tell you what changed for me.

    I learned the business of building a life.  I learned to make my son, my family, and the bright shining smiles of my nieces and nephews more important than the roar of the crowd. I learned how to get love and adulation from those closest to me.  I learned how to fill what was missing inside.

    How important is this distinction?

    It means everything.

    I’ve been clean for over seven years, and finally feel like I’m walking toward a place I want to go. 

Be well,

Dan “Nitro” Clark

Btw — one of the best protein powders I’ve tried is Sun Warrior protein.  It’s natural, raw and organic and has the highest assimilation rates of any protein on the market.  Here’s an interview I did with the owners of the company.  Sun Warrior protein interview.

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I say he's young – young to me, but he's not a kid.  I believe he's in his late 20's.  Not that I'm old like father time.  Hell, I just had my 45 birthday… but I'm wise in years of experience.  I've seen a lot in my life.  

Well, this friend of mine — we'll call him "Rick" — has been asking me a lot about steroids.  He's obsessed with them and what he thinks they will do for him and how they will change his life.  Just recently he said, "I'd love to be able to bench 500 pounds and scream and throw it on the rack, like you did when you were Nitro on "American Gladiators."  

The kid's a smart kid… he read my memoir Gladiator – A True Story of Roids, Rage and Redemption a few times.  So, I'm stunned my stance against steroids isn't crystal clear him.

I have to say, it feels odd now to be admired for being a Hercules who hoisted up heavy weights.  But at the time it meant everything.  I realize now it means nothing.  But what's different?  What's changed? And how do I share this with my young friend?  The best I could come up with is:  

I wish I would've spent more time building a life back when I was young — because eventually your body will fail you — it will grow old — but the life you build around will only continue to grow and blossom. 

I really hope he understands me.  It took me too many years to realize that: 

Steroids and drugs are a hopeless reach for happiness.  Because you'll never be big enough or strong enough or high enough to fill what is missing inside.  Eventually you'll have to learn the process of building a life, and realize that the honey, the reward, comes from putting your nose to the grindstone and walking toward a place you want to go.   

I dedicated my book to:

My son, my family, and that bright shining smile of nieces and nephews that became more important than the roar of the crowd.  

This distinction has made all the difference.   Even though he wasn't asking me for advice, I say this to my young friend: 

Build your life from the inside out.  Know that your enough.  And realize that where ever you go, there you will be. 

    When he wasn’t bashing the brains of weekend warriors with a giant Q-tip or laying vicious hits on spandex-wearing guys in Powerball, Dan Clark—“Nitro” of the original American Gladiators—was slamming needles into his glutes. The former San Jose State linebacker and reality TV megastar abused steroids for more than 2 decades to build his formidable frame.

Clark details his steroid use, rise to fame, terrifying bouts of ‘roid rage, and his life after the drugs—including relapses and daily pains—in his frank new book, Gladiator. MensHealth.com got an early look at the manuscript, and the chance to ask Nitro some questions about steroids, their lasting effects, and his workouts today.

Did 20 radio interviews back to back this morning starting at 5 AM.  For the most part I feel great, but I’m going to get a little rest and wait for my segment "INSIDE EDITION" tonight.

 Be well!

Dan "Nitro" Clark

Technorati Tags: Men’s Health, Steroid, Nitro, Dan Clark, Steroids questions, American Gladiators, Gladiator a True Story of, Inside edition, Dan Nitro Clark, San Jose State, memoir, book, Book Soup

February the 9th 2009 is the official publication of my Memoir – GLADIATOR: A True Story of ‘Roids, Rage and Redemption.  There’s a couple of things you need to know about the book.  First of all, you need to know that I wrote the book.  There was no co-writer or ghost writer.  It was important to me that the words flowed from me straight to the page, in my voice, as a way authenticate the experience.  That being said, if it sucks… there is no one to blame but me, but that is a risk I take gladly.

Secondly, I didn’t write this book to “Pimp My Roid.”  If you’re looking for me to incriminate and throw people under the bus don’t read Gladiator.  Go read Jose Canseco’s book “Juiced.”  He throws everyone under the bus. But if you’re fascinated by an “insider” look or… What was it like to be a Gladiator? This book will be a revelation. There are parts (steroids) that are gut-wrenching, others that are gut-busting funny, and still others that are horrifying.  But most of all the book will be honest.  I felt the only way for me to really do justice to the subject matter was to really dig deep and open the vein.  So expect an powerful, honest, cathartic, frank, highly charged, emotional, experience.  It’ll be like a train wreck.  You won’t be able to look away!

Thirdly, the book is about so much more than Gladiators, and even though I take you on a dark journey in the book, my hope is that my humanity shines through. 

Lastly, I invite you to read a small excerpt of the book.  I really think you’ll be stunned. Thanks!

Read an excerpt now…