In light of what’s happened in sports recently with Manny, A-Rod, David Oritz, Marion Jones and countless others, no truer words have ever been spoken.  But before your enthusiasm for sports gets smothered under the weight of syringes, roids and positive tests, let’s chat a little bit about sports-figure heroes.  I know a little about this subject.  I was a hero to millions of kids and teens.  I played Nitro on the original American Gladiators for seven years.  In our hey day we had tens of millions of viewers each week and in some markets out drew pro football. I understand what A-Rod, Manny Ramirez and others are going through.  As an athlete and entertainer you’re being consumed and swallowed by the beast of American Consumerism.  You’re a hero who the fans project their thrills, dreams and insatiable demands – and you’re willing to do anything to satisfy them – including taking steroids. 

    Back in the 90’s during the American Gladiators live tour I remember walking out onto the floor of Madison Square Garden and 15,000 fans slammed to their feet and chanted my name.  My heart pumped so hard, I could literally feel myself touch each and everyone of the fans.  I wasn’t “young and stupid” and “didn’t know” what I was taking.  I was intoxicated with the adulation and adoration and would’ve done anything to fulfill my obligation to entertain.  I would’ve ripped my heart out of my chest and held it out, still pulsating in my hands, if that’s what the fans demanded.

   But I also remember knowing deep inside I was giving pieces of my body away, paying for my success with a pound of flesh.  But this Faustian bargain isn’t something athletes want to deal with. We don’t want to know.  We’re in the business of denial and self-abuse.  Our body is a commodity, our mode of trade.  We’re used to pain.  We’re taught: “Don’t quit. Don’t give into the pain.”  So when we get the inclination something is wrong, we do not give in, we do not quit.  

    But I know times are different now.  Steroid use, once a dirty little secret confined to locker rooms, sports medicine clinics and gyms, has now erupted into a national controversy and spilled into our daily lives.  Their harmful side effects are no secret either.  But still right now I’m sure there’s still tens of millions kids and teenagers out there contemplating the steroid issue.  Do I need to take them?  Are they safe?  Can I make it if I don’t take steroids? 

    How do we educate and save the future generation of A-Rod and Manny, hopefuls?  The hardest part about this conversation is that everyone who takes steroid, will not become addicted, get horrible side effects or die.  That’s the simple truth.  But many will.  I know I did.

    I was a guy who always thought I could handle taking steroids.  But in truth, the drug handled me, easily and completely.  At my peak, I was six feet two, 260 pounds.  Muscles stretched and defined by red, white, and blue spandex.  I loomed as if I blocked out the sun.  That was everyone else’s perception of me.  But I was never big enough or strong enough for myself.  I reached a point where contentment and fulfillment were impossible.  I learned that steroids were a hopeless reach for happiness and could never fill what I was missing inside.

    And maybe that’s what I’m getting at here.  It’s not A-Rods, Bonds, Manny’s or Ortiz’s fault.  It’s not my fault.  It’s not your fault.  It’s our fault.  Everyone is culpable.  No one can look the other way.  We’ve become a nation obsessed with a winner take all mentality, where every effort is marked down at the end as a win or a loss, where second place means nothing.   What is it about the very fabric of us as a nation that’s led us here?  Why are we so intoxicated with winning?  I guess the real question is: What are we missing inside?

    I knew when I won, I was somebody.  When I didn’t, I was invisible.

    So how do we fix something that is broken at the very core or our existence?

    I can tell you what changed for me.

    I learned the business of building a life.  I learned to make my son, my family, and the bright shining smiles of my nieces and nephews more important than the roar of the crowd. I learned how to get love and adulation from those closest to me.  I learned how to fill what was missing inside.

    How important is this distinction?

    It means everything.

    I’ve been clean for over seven years, and finally feel like I’m walking toward a place I want to go. 

Be well,

Dan “Nitro” Clark

Btw — one of the best protein powders I’ve tried is Sun Warrior protein.  It’s natural, raw and organic and has the highest assimilation rates of any protein on the market.  Here’s an interview I did with the owners of the company.  Sun Warrior protein interview.

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I say he's young – young to me, but he's not a kid.  I believe he's in his late 20's.  Not that I'm old like father time.  Hell, I just had my 45 birthday… but I'm wise in years of experience.  I've seen a lot in my life.  

Well, this friend of mine — we'll call him "Rick" — has been asking me a lot about steroids.  He's obsessed with them and what he thinks they will do for him and how they will change his life.  Just recently he said, "I'd love to be able to bench 500 pounds and scream and throw it on the rack, like you did when you were Nitro on "American Gladiators."  

The kid's a smart kid… he read my memoir Gladiator – A True Story of Roids, Rage and Redemption a few times.  So, I'm stunned my stance against steroids isn't crystal clear him.

I have to say, it feels odd now to be admired for being a Hercules who hoisted up heavy weights.  But at the time it meant everything.  I realize now it means nothing.  But what's different?  What's changed? And how do I share this with my young friend?  The best I could come up with is:  

I wish I would've spent more time building a life back when I was young — because eventually your body will fail you — it will grow old — but the life you build around will only continue to grow and blossom. 

I really hope he understands me.  It took me too many years to realize that: 

Steroids and drugs are a hopeless reach for happiness.  Because you'll never be big enough or strong enough or high enough to fill what is missing inside.  Eventually you'll have to learn the process of building a life, and realize that the honey, the reward, comes from putting your nose to the grindstone and walking toward a place you want to go.   

I dedicated my book to:

My son, my family, and that bright shining smile of nieces and nephews that became more important than the roar of the crowd.  

This distinction has made all the difference.   Even though he wasn't asking me for advice, I say this to my young friend: 

Build your life from the inside out.  Know that your enough.  And realize that where ever you go, there you will be. 

But I do have to admit it's been a Herculean task to actually get a review.  Because of the cutback at paper and the shrinkage of the book section — they just don't do that many reviews anymore — especially on books with a guy in spandex on the cover.  

They think they know the story.  I guess the adage is true, don't judge a book by it's cover.  

This guy from the paper, Peter Larsen, actually read the book, and buzzed me up and took a moment to look inside.  I'm glad he did.  

Media has become cheap and sensationalistic today.  Not this guy.  While everyone else led with Man-Boobs and steroids, he led with man behind the story. That would humbly be me. The article starts…  

Dan Clark stands on the deck of his modern, glass-infused Hollywood Hills home, bruised storm clouds moving fast through the Cahuenga Pass below. His smile is quick and his eyes flash as he tells his story. Yet you sense weariness, too as he describes his life. Or lives.

The story of Dan Clark – you know him as Nitro, one of the ripped bad boy stars of the original "American Gladiators" TV series – is one of many different lives, each a creation of Clark's demons, drive and desire. Clark, it turns out, is the ultimate self-made man, shedding skins like a snake, recreating himself (figuratively and literally) over and over in his 44 years.

He was a preschooler who bawled when his parents split, and then made himself into a boy who would not cry. He was a 10-year-old devastated by guilt and grief after witnessing the accidental electrocution of his older brother, who turned himself into someone who would not – could not – feel.

He was a chubby teen who, in the early 1980s, transformed himself into a football star at Saddleback High School, building his body even bigger after discovering steroids at Santa Ana College.

And, later, he was a washed-up would-be NFL player who created a new persona as Nitro, the bad-ass TV Gladiator who'd gladly knock you on yours, on or off camera.

And now Clark is this: the fading celebrity, who abused himself and everyone around him for years – with drugs and sex and brawls and such – remakes himself once more, writing a memoir to tell (and sell) his story everywhere he can, like a prophet warning others off the self-destructive path he'd followed…

You can read the rest of the OC article here.  

Access Hollywood interview was another story.  40 minute interview chopped to 15 seconds and one question about the side effects of steroids.  And Billy Bush was to cool fro school.  But at least they hooked a brotha up and showed the cover.   Off to dinner at the famous Spago in Beverly Hills.  Been there a few times.  But this is the first time I'm actually going there for dinner!

Please enjoy!

Dan Clark

Btw — if you still haven't gotten a copy of the book I know Amazon has GLADIATOR on sale in the bargain book area for $10 so now is a great time to get it just in time for Xmas!  Just click the link above – ignore the $20 price and go down to the box where it has the "bargain" price!

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